McDonnell Douglas


Important! Important!

Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

  1. Name

    Title Mr.  Mrs.  Ms.  Miss  Lt.  Gen.  Commander  Classified  Other 

    First    Initial   

  2. Location

    Latitude    Longitude    Altitude   

  3. Password, Code Name, Etc.

  4. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
    F-14 Tomcat   F-15 Eagle   F-16 Falcon   F-19A Stealth   Classified  

  5. Date of purchase: Month    Day    Year   

  6. Serial Number

  7. Please check where this product was purchased:
    Received as Gift/Aid Package Catalog Showroom   Sleazy Arms Broker   Mail Order  
    Discount Store   Government Surplus   Classified  

  8. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
    Heard loud noise, looked up   Store Display   Espionage   Recommended by friend/relative/ally   Political lobbying by Manufacturer   Was attacked by one  

  9. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    Style/Appearance   Kickback/Bribe   Recommended by salesperson   Speed/Maneuverability   Comfort/Convenience   McDonnell Douglas Reputation   Advanced Weapons Systems  
    Price/Value   Back-Room Politics   Negative experience opposing one in combat  

  10. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
    North America   Central/South America   Aircraft Carrier   Europe   Middle East   Africa   Asia/Far East   Misc. Third-World Countries   Classified  

  11. . Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:
    Color TV   VCR   ICBM   Killer Satellite   CD Player   Air-to-Air Missiles  
    Space Shuttle   Home Computer   Nuclear Weapon  

  12. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:
    Communist/Socialist   Terrorist   Crazed (Islamic)   Crazed (Other)   Neutral  
    Democratic   Dictatorship   Corrupt (Latin American)   Corrupt (Other)   Primitive/Tribal  

  13. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
    Cash   Suitcases of Cocaine   Oil Revenues   Deficit Spending   Personal Check  
    Credit Card   Ransom Money   Traveler's Check  

  14. Occupation
    Homemaker   Sales/Marketing   Revolutionary   Clerical   Mercenary   Tyrant  
    Middle Management   Eccentric Billionaire   Defense Minister/General   Retired   Student  

  15. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you or your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
    Golf   Boating/Sailing   Sabotage   Running/Jogging   Propaganda/Disinformation  
    Destabilizing/Overthrow   Default on Loans   Gardening   Crafts  
    Black Market/Smuggling   Collectibles/Collections   Watching Sports on TV   Wines  
    Interrogation/Torture   Household Pets   Crushing Rebellions   Espionage/Reconnaissance   Fashion Clothing   Border Disputes   Mutually Assured Destruction  

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500

This nifty registration form was first circulated on the McDonnell-Douglas corporate site, and despite a quick removal courtesy of management, it escaped into the wild and to this day continues to provide a wealth of information about McDonnell-Douglas customers.

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